It's the first day in December it's cloudy outside, and I love it! When you live in an area that is sunny 350 days of the year. I do not include the monsoon season here, but it is warm a lot. A cloudy day puts a little chill in the air, and it feels like Christmas time!
My son and I went to find a tree the week of Thanksgiving. Why would you do that? Well, my husband will be away for a while, and I wanted the Thanksgiving Holiday to brighten his spirits. He will be away until almost Christmas I knew he would love feeling the spirit. Believe it or not, we didn't find a real tree anywhere. I think only the stores with fake trees were available. According to my husband, imitation trees are not allowed in our house. Considering they have nice looking trees now, it makes me think, wow how easy would that be?
When I was about 11 or so, we had that silver aluminum tree with a changing colors of light glowing on its branches. My mom had decorated it all with red glass balls. It was like being in a department store. All very neat and tidy. I loved the other items we had for decorations the paper houses with stained glass plastic windows, angels made of fiber mesh, things that were from long ago. Whose these things were I have no idea, and there were very few items at all. I have three red elves that would cling to tapered candles in very acrobatic positions. Also a ceramic Santa bank the rubber stopper has long since deteriorated away. The ceramic has developed cracks, and I think they call it crazing. It didn't have it when I was young; I looked at this Santa year after year and one year it started developing the little crackers. I suppose through all my travels of packing and unpacking had caused the poor thing to give in to the stresses. I still put it out there.
We also had a nativity which was old, and it would lose straw every year that now I don't think there is any straw left. I had the three wise men, of course, Mary, Jesus, and Joseph, a steer, donkey, lamb, and shepherd boy. I sometimes didn't put Christ in the manger until Christmas Eve. Occasionally I would place the wise men across the room as if they weren't there yet, so they have to travel later. Across the living room floor, they would set up next to a safe place so as not to get run over by dogs or people.
When we first moved to Arizona, it was a difficult time for me. We had just moved 2500 miles away from the only family I have ever really known. My boys were living near campus, and out of the house, husband worked long hours, and I couldn't get a job. I was depressed I couldn't even think of decorating let alone getting a tree. We had just moved into our new home. A beautiful house just outside the city. Eventually, I came around, but it was a hard year for me and anyone who expected me to make the Holidays festive.
That's the thing about people who love the holiday season all their life. They make it for others even though people don't realize how much the crazy Christmas people make Christmas exciting for others in their life.
Imagine the person you know loves Christmas or any Holiday for that matter, and you go to see them, and they don't have that emotion, the smile the light in their eyes.
You wonder what's happened because they gave you spirit no matter what it was it made it better for you.
Depression had happened to me I couldn't feel Christmas. Therefore, others didn't feel it either.
I made it through that year; it was hard. My life, at that time, was filled with depressive states, and it wasn't until that moment that it hit me so hard I couldn't get past it. To the point that several years later I decided to go to a therapist.
Does Christmas or any Holiday fill everyone with dread? Maybe, when the month ends, and we are in the new year sometimes it's fresh and new, but for some, it's a letdown. After the fact depression. It's there some people handle it, and no one ever sees it. Some people don't, and it's sad and helpless.
If you or someone you know is going through this call someone, get out and focus on something other than what is occurring at this moment. If you think you might be depressed call your doctor for help and be honest about how your feeling. Sometimes we think we are the only ones feeling this way. Trust me your not it's just that other people hide it better. I know I did and eventually, I couldn't anymore. I was lucky, but others weren't, and we miss them a lot.
